people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
