i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
then he tried to convert me to islam
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
