they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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