I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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