8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
