he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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