i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
