Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
apparently the secret to your success is patron
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
