she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
