Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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