It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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