We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
