New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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