My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
