Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
