So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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