oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
