Can Purell be used as lube?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
