1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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