When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
