PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
