i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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