I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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