She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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