I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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