So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
