This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i drank out of a bidet.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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