my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
