We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
