You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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