i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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