So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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