TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
