It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
