Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
