Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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