Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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