ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
one two three fourrrrnication!
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
