i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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