You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Randomize
