She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
