I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
