Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
