It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
