What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
