yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
