thus making me awesome and them whores
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
