Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
