hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
