Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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