She's JV to your varsity
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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