I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
